Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
