shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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