after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
