I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
