when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
