well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She said her name was "party"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize