Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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