Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize