My hand turned me down
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
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I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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