i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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