we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
