just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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