guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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