Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
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Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
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I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher