ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
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I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So many bounce houses so little time
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.