He had one of those small greek statue penises
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
