you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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