and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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