Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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