It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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