i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
