New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
