Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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