what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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