Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
