woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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