apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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