Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
