Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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