She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
