Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
