u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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