I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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