i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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