plz talk dirty to me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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