you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
