do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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