Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
