Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
