I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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