I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
no. you can't hotbox the world.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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