I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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