I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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