So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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