I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
