Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
