oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
