in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
