I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
