K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying