you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.