I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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