So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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