I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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