I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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