we're chasing vodka with high fives
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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