Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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